11.30.2003
Jack Bauer: Killing bitches for less
This post is a bit late, as I was home for turkey day trying to get either beat up or arrested, but I have returned to my life of education and hence my late commentary on 24.
I'll keep it short and sweet, as to not ruin anything big for those of you who missed it. However, I will say that you know it was a good episode when NOT ONLY there were two parental advisories displayed, but the episode was followed by a casual Keifer Sutherland warning you that guns aren't for playing around wtih.
Anyhow, kudos to 24 for surprising me yet again, and also to Fox for having the balls to put something so surprising and potentially controversial on broadcast TV.
This post is a bit late, as I was home for turkey day trying to get either beat up or arrested, but I have returned to my life of education and hence my late commentary on 24.
I'll keep it short and sweet, as to not ruin anything big for those of you who missed it. However, I will say that you know it was a good episode when NOT ONLY there were two parental advisories displayed, but the episode was followed by a casual Keifer Sutherland warning you that guns aren't for playing around wtih.
Anyhow, kudos to 24 for surprising me yet again, and also to Fox for having the balls to put something so surprising and potentially controversial on broadcast TV.
11.19.2003
Windows XP is a Fucking Piece of SHIT
Warning: What follows is a poorly written rant which found life in a moment of anger and will be offensive to anyone.
Also, if you don't understand computers, don't bother reading. It won't make a lick of sense.
Ever since Windows 95, Microsoft has done ALL IT CAN to take over more and more of my computer. Now, I'm not saying 3.1 was the golden age, but at least Microsoft placed some faith in me, the user, to run my own GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTER.
Somewhere along the road Bill Gates decided that he should lock everything to assure that Windows eats all of my RAM and has as many hardware conflicts as possible.
I remember creating boot discs to start my computer in DOS and play games with maximum CPU power. Now that was great. Windows wasn't there with its fist up the ass of my computer.
So anyhow, my computer recently decided to have a hardware conflict which, in summary, caused my computer screen to look like someone had sprayed diarrhea all over it. Yummy.
If my computer looked like fucking dogshit from the startup before even loading XP, you'd think it was a hardware problem, right? But since XP decides to rewrite everything in your computer's startup along with taking over the entire hard drive, somehow an XP conflict was making my computer screwed up FROM THE START.
Here's an idea for the 'highly anticipated' Service Pack 2: Instead of coming up with another fancy way of showing me my top 23 most used programs, FIX ALL OF THE GOD DAMN SECURITY FLAWS.
Seriously. Microsoft is touting the new Internet Explorer because it kills pop-ups. WHOOPDEEFUCKINGDOO. The Google Toolbar already accomplishes that job quite nicely and also happens to be useful at the same time. Huh. Practicality. Ain't that somethin'.
Maybe you should make Windows take less than 50% of my RAM regardless of how much I have. I'd seriously buy a Mac if it played games more recent than three years old... And also if they didn't require you to sign that paperwork declaring yourself as a homosexual.
So, as a result, I'd like to create a formal laundry list, if you will, to Microsoft to help them realize something about power users that are FORCED to use their product:
Dear Microsoft,
On behalf of competent computer users everywhere, I just wanted to let you know that I'm intelligent enough to download my own "critical updates" without you using my Internet bandwidth in order to check for new updates every two milliseconds. Your QoS packet scheduler is causing lag in my game of CounterStrike.
I also know how to edit the registry without destroying my computer. As a matter of fact, I edit my registry to remove the stupid shit that you insist on forcing onto my computer.
Please, don't automatically hide icons in my task tray, especially shit you snuck in there. I don't use MSN Messenger, nor will I ever, and you making it a default part of the Windows Startup will not coerce me into trying your product.
Please, don't use 10% of my hard drive to back things up without my consent. Don't save file data for "fast searching." Don't compress rarely used files. Don't automatically install hardware if it doesn't work right. Your helpful accessories are not very helpful.
Office XP is not worth more than $50 and will always be pirated by everyone and their mother until you realize that.
Finally, yes, these drivers I'm installing are fine. I promise. I swear. Yes, I realize that you don't recognize where these drivers came from. No, these drivers don't need to be "digitally signed" by you assholes. As a matter of fact, your drivers never work right. They fucking suck. Fuck you.
Assholes.
Warning: What follows is a poorly written rant which found life in a moment of anger and will be offensive to anyone.
Also, if you don't understand computers, don't bother reading. It won't make a lick of sense.
Ever since Windows 95, Microsoft has done ALL IT CAN to take over more and more of my computer. Now, I'm not saying 3.1 was the golden age, but at least Microsoft placed some faith in me, the user, to run my own GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTER.
Somewhere along the road Bill Gates decided that he should lock everything to assure that Windows eats all of my RAM and has as many hardware conflicts as possible.
I remember creating boot discs to start my computer in DOS and play games with maximum CPU power. Now that was great. Windows wasn't there with its fist up the ass of my computer.
So anyhow, my computer recently decided to have a hardware conflict which, in summary, caused my computer screen to look like someone had sprayed diarrhea all over it. Yummy.
If my computer looked like fucking dogshit from the startup before even loading XP, you'd think it was a hardware problem, right? But since XP decides to rewrite everything in your computer's startup along with taking over the entire hard drive, somehow an XP conflict was making my computer screwed up FROM THE START.
Here's an idea for the 'highly anticipated' Service Pack 2: Instead of coming up with another fancy way of showing me my top 23 most used programs, FIX ALL OF THE GOD DAMN SECURITY FLAWS.
Seriously. Microsoft is touting the new Internet Explorer because it kills pop-ups. WHOOPDEEFUCKINGDOO. The Google Toolbar already accomplishes that job quite nicely and also happens to be useful at the same time. Huh. Practicality. Ain't that somethin'.
Maybe you should make Windows take less than 50% of my RAM regardless of how much I have. I'd seriously buy a Mac if it played games more recent than three years old... And also if they didn't require you to sign that paperwork declaring yourself as a homosexual.
So, as a result, I'd like to create a formal laundry list, if you will, to Microsoft to help them realize something about power users that are FORCED to use their product:
Dear Microsoft,
On behalf of competent computer users everywhere, I just wanted to let you know that I'm intelligent enough to download my own "critical updates" without you using my Internet bandwidth in order to check for new updates every two milliseconds. Your QoS packet scheduler is causing lag in my game of CounterStrike.
I also know how to edit the registry without destroying my computer. As a matter of fact, I edit my registry to remove the stupid shit that you insist on forcing onto my computer.
Please, don't automatically hide icons in my task tray, especially shit you snuck in there. I don't use MSN Messenger, nor will I ever, and you making it a default part of the Windows Startup will not coerce me into trying your product.
Please, don't use 10% of my hard drive to back things up without my consent. Don't save file data for "fast searching." Don't compress rarely used files. Don't automatically install hardware if it doesn't work right. Your helpful accessories are not very helpful.
Office XP is not worth more than $50 and will always be pirated by everyone and their mother until you realize that.
Finally, yes, these drivers I'm installing are fine. I promise. I swear. Yes, I realize that you don't recognize where these drivers came from. No, these drivers don't need to be "digitally signed" by you assholes. As a matter of fact, your drivers never work right. They fucking suck. Fuck you.
Assholes.
11.15.2003
Bubba Ho-Tep
Well, the movie technically came out over a year ago, but... better late than never, right?
Bubba Ho-Tep finally made its way to Gainesville, and I couldn't be more pleased. I went last night to check out what all the buzz was about, and also to see our favorite hero in action: Bruce Campbell.
Simply put, Bruce is the man. Any time that any well known person/character is going to appear in a movie, the first choice of many is Bruce Campbell. It's been said he would be perfect in the title role of the upcoming "Superman" flick.. so hell, why not have him play Elvis?
Better yet, why not an aging Elvis that resides in a nursing home?
And even better, make his sidekick an aging African-American man who thinks he's JFK.
And then have them fight an ancient Egyptian mummy.
Now THAT'S a movie.
As a horror flick, Bubba Ho-Tep fails miserably. As a comedy, its an instant classic. Thankfully, the movie doesn't try too hard to be scary. Bruce as Elvis and Ossie Davis as Jack Kennedy are both instantly likeable and hilarious.
Credit has to be given to Campbell and Davis for their portrayal of these iconic figures. The movie keeps from being too campy or cheesy because you actually feel for these elderly, forgotten heroes, no matter how disillusioned they might actually be.
Ironically, hidden within this comic gem is a depressing story of old age. Not so much that it drags down the movie, mind you, but it adds another level of depth that makes this movie all the more enjoyable.
If you get the chance to see this movie, by all means do. Bubba Ho-Tep does not disappoint.
Well, the movie technically came out over a year ago, but... better late than never, right?
Bubba Ho-Tep finally made its way to Gainesville, and I couldn't be more pleased. I went last night to check out what all the buzz was about, and also to see our favorite hero in action: Bruce Campbell.
Simply put, Bruce is the man. Any time that any well known person/character is going to appear in a movie, the first choice of many is Bruce Campbell. It's been said he would be perfect in the title role of the upcoming "Superman" flick.. so hell, why not have him play Elvis?
Better yet, why not an aging Elvis that resides in a nursing home?
And even better, make his sidekick an aging African-American man who thinks he's JFK.
And then have them fight an ancient Egyptian mummy.
Now THAT'S a movie.
As a horror flick, Bubba Ho-Tep fails miserably. As a comedy, its an instant classic. Thankfully, the movie doesn't try too hard to be scary. Bruce as Elvis and Ossie Davis as Jack Kennedy are both instantly likeable and hilarious.
Credit has to be given to Campbell and Davis for their portrayal of these iconic figures. The movie keeps from being too campy or cheesy because you actually feel for these elderly, forgotten heroes, no matter how disillusioned they might actually be.
Ironically, hidden within this comic gem is a depressing story of old age. Not so much that it drags down the movie, mind you, but it adds another level of depth that makes this movie all the more enjoyable.
If you get the chance to see this movie, by all means do. Bubba Ho-Tep does not disappoint.
11.12.2003
Slayer and Deftones shows
Spent the weekend in Orlando for the Slayer and Deftones shows... I'm a bit sore and beat up, but it was well worth it. That's rock n' roll!
Okay, so maybe I'm not rock and roll, but I can still get my ass beat at a hard show, and that's exactly what I did.
Traffic made me especially late to Slayer, so I missed Hatebreed's opening set, but still made it in enough time to watch some guy from Jagermeister chug an entire bottle of the stuff. I guess that's expected on the "Jagermeister Tour."
Wow. Slayer was intense. Damn near two hours of nonstop noise to poison your brain with all sorts of devil worshipping ideas.
They performed all of the album "Reign in Blood," appropriately closing with the last title from that album, "Raining Blood." It's actually really cool to hear a band that's been around for awhile and has a huge, devoted following perform a classic album in its entirety.
But the show was brutally entertaining... filled with all kinds of ridiculous flashing lights and smoke with Slayer playing their heart out and ending the set drenched in sweat.
I learned my lesson and left extra early for the Deftones. The opening band was Denali, a trippy electronica-heavy foursome with a girl with a hell of a set of lungs on vocals. They were decent and certainly served as a stark contrast to the next band, Poison the Well.
This was actually my fourth time seeing Poison the Well. Those guys always put on a hell of a show, and this was no exception. They packed a shitload of energy into a short 8 or 9 song set, and it was still a good opening act that got the crowd moving.
The Deftones took the stage and absolutely tore it up. With an energy-filled 17 song set that offered a little bit from all of their albums, it was a diverse and hard show that got all of Hard Rock Live involved.
The 'Tones mixed it up with some hard, some soft, some old, and some new. Highlights and less-played live tracks included "Mx," "Fireal/Swords," and, off the new album, "When Girls Telephone Boys."
Awesome shows. Awesome weekend. Time to lick my wounds and heal up.
Spent the weekend in Orlando for the Slayer and Deftones shows... I'm a bit sore and beat up, but it was well worth it. That's rock n' roll!
Okay, so maybe I'm not rock and roll, but I can still get my ass beat at a hard show, and that's exactly what I did.
Traffic made me especially late to Slayer, so I missed Hatebreed's opening set, but still made it in enough time to watch some guy from Jagermeister chug an entire bottle of the stuff. I guess that's expected on the "Jagermeister Tour."
Wow. Slayer was intense. Damn near two hours of nonstop noise to poison your brain with all sorts of devil worshipping ideas.
They performed all of the album "Reign in Blood," appropriately closing with the last title from that album, "Raining Blood." It's actually really cool to hear a band that's been around for awhile and has a huge, devoted following perform a classic album in its entirety.
But the show was brutally entertaining... filled with all kinds of ridiculous flashing lights and smoke with Slayer playing their heart out and ending the set drenched in sweat.
I learned my lesson and left extra early for the Deftones. The opening band was Denali, a trippy electronica-heavy foursome with a girl with a hell of a set of lungs on vocals. They were decent and certainly served as a stark contrast to the next band, Poison the Well.
This was actually my fourth time seeing Poison the Well. Those guys always put on a hell of a show, and this was no exception. They packed a shitload of energy into a short 8 or 9 song set, and it was still a good opening act that got the crowd moving.
The Deftones took the stage and absolutely tore it up. With an energy-filled 17 song set that offered a little bit from all of their albums, it was a diverse and hard show that got all of Hard Rock Live involved.
The 'Tones mixed it up with some hard, some soft, some old, and some new. Highlights and less-played live tracks included "Mx," "Fireal/Swords," and, off the new album, "When Girls Telephone Boys."
Awesome shows. Awesome weekend. Time to lick my wounds and heal up.
11.08.2003
The Matrix Revolutions
So I've let some time pass so that the initial hype of Revolutions is quieting down, and now I feel as though it is appropriate to share my feelings on this movie.
But before I do that, I'd like to remind everyone in America:
THE MATRIX WAS NOT A PERFECT MOVIE.
Not even close. As a matter of fact, I hated it the second time I saw it when I got it on DVD. Loved it in theaters, but I remembered a movie much better than the one that I actually saw. Viewing it a second time was a letdown.
But, over time, I've learned to appreciate the movie. Sure, it rips off a lot of classic science fiction and anime and such, but who cares?
Apparently I'm in the minority that enjoyed Reloaded, and that's good. People complained that there was "too much talking and not enough action" in Reloaded. The first movie was almost all talking, in case you forgot.
I liked the ideas presented in Reloaded. The five previous ones, the "control," programs working for and against humans, programs with agendas, etc. It made the Matrix universe a hell of a lot more interesting.
So I'll get this out of the way: I really liked Revolutions. Most people seemed to be expecting a mind-fuck, some crazy twist where it ended up a matrix-within-a-matrix or humans are really a virus in a computer or something stupid.
That's cheap, stupid, and it would void the first two movies entirely. Why care about the characters if you find out in the third movie that its all fake? Stupid.
Thankfully, the Wachowskis are better than that. They're not one trick ponies (I'm looking at you, M. Night Shyamalan) and they don't rely on what sold the first movie, and it's smart.
There were a lot of questions to be answered in Revolutions, and they didn't bother answering most of them, which is good. It makes it YOUR movie from which you can take YOUR OWN ideas and draw YOUR OWN conclusions.
But, at the same time, the movie offers a relatively good conclusion to the series and solves the issues at hand. I guess most people wanted the Matrix to be destroyed or something, but that would have been a disappointing ending to me.
But just like the first movie (and the second) in the series, Revolutions isn't perfect. The same problems are still here - over-serious and cheesy dialogue, along with bizzare over-the-top action that comes dangerously close to becoming a parody of itself.
But I still liked it. The siege on Zion was most definitely the best science fiction battle sequence I've seen since Hoth in Empire. The final duel between Smith and Neo can only be defined as epic, and its really well done.
I realize most people probably won't like this movie - people expect a nice, tightly-wrapped ending that draws the conclusions for you. In the realm of big, over the top Hollywood cinema, Revolutions and the Matrix series itself is, oddly enough, a refreshing change of pace.
So I've let some time pass so that the initial hype of Revolutions is quieting down, and now I feel as though it is appropriate to share my feelings on this movie.
But before I do that, I'd like to remind everyone in America:
THE MATRIX WAS NOT A PERFECT MOVIE.
Not even close. As a matter of fact, I hated it the second time I saw it when I got it on DVD. Loved it in theaters, but I remembered a movie much better than the one that I actually saw. Viewing it a second time was a letdown.
But, over time, I've learned to appreciate the movie. Sure, it rips off a lot of classic science fiction and anime and such, but who cares?
Apparently I'm in the minority that enjoyed Reloaded, and that's good. People complained that there was "too much talking and not enough action" in Reloaded. The first movie was almost all talking, in case you forgot.
I liked the ideas presented in Reloaded. The five previous ones, the "control," programs working for and against humans, programs with agendas, etc. It made the Matrix universe a hell of a lot more interesting.
So I'll get this out of the way: I really liked Revolutions. Most people seemed to be expecting a mind-fuck, some crazy twist where it ended up a matrix-within-a-matrix or humans are really a virus in a computer or something stupid.
That's cheap, stupid, and it would void the first two movies entirely. Why care about the characters if you find out in the third movie that its all fake? Stupid.
Thankfully, the Wachowskis are better than that. They're not one trick ponies (I'm looking at you, M. Night Shyamalan) and they don't rely on what sold the first movie, and it's smart.
There were a lot of questions to be answered in Revolutions, and they didn't bother answering most of them, which is good. It makes it YOUR movie from which you can take YOUR OWN ideas and draw YOUR OWN conclusions.
But, at the same time, the movie offers a relatively good conclusion to the series and solves the issues at hand. I guess most people wanted the Matrix to be destroyed or something, but that would have been a disappointing ending to me.
But just like the first movie (and the second) in the series, Revolutions isn't perfect. The same problems are still here - over-serious and cheesy dialogue, along with bizzare over-the-top action that comes dangerously close to becoming a parody of itself.
But I still liked it. The siege on Zion was most definitely the best science fiction battle sequence I've seen since Hoth in Empire. The final duel between Smith and Neo can only be defined as epic, and its really well done.
I realize most people probably won't like this movie - people expect a nice, tightly-wrapped ending that draws the conclusions for you. In the realm of big, over the top Hollywood cinema, Revolutions and the Matrix series itself is, oddly enough, a refreshing change of pace.
11.04.2003
The World is a Toolbox
I've been absent for some time now thanks to a "buy two, get one free" deal at Toys R Us that led to the purchases of SSX3, Tony Hawk's Underground, and Amped 2. With all of these extreme sports games, I'm feeling rather EXTREME at the moment. I'll review them as soon as I manage to devote enough time to just one of them.
Also, everyone be sure to pick up the Upright Citizens Brigade DVD which hits shelves today. It's the entire first season and if it sells well, they're going to release season two.
On a side note... I've been noticing over the past few months that the presence of "Tool" shirts has grown exponentially. What's the deal?
Sure, Maynard James Keenan and company are a nifty little band and all, but the irony of the shirts is the "truth in advertising", as my friend Brian put it so eloquently.
Sorry. I'm just so sick of the douchebag no-personality stereotypical frat boy whose favorite movie is "Old School," and he just LOVES that hot new joint by 50 Cent.
Who raised these kids? Where did they grow up?
There are two things that need to happen for a boy to grow into a true man:
1. He needs to get his ass kicked good and hard at some point in his early life.
Someone needs to put him in his place and harden him somehow, otherwise he'll grow up to be a pussy and run from a fight. Men that always avoid conflict will never have any confidence or get laid. Plus, if you can't fight, how will you ever become a professional hockey player?
Parents should go out of their way to put their kids in a position where they will get beat up. My parents put me in Catholic school, that did the trick!
2. He needs to break a law and get busted.
And we're just talking small stuff here... trespassing, illegal fireworks, beastiality, credit card fraud, whatever. As long as you're talking in a desperate attempt to save your ass, you've already learned a life lesson. If you never stumbled your way through a horrible explanation as to why you were naked in a park at 3 a.m. to Johnny Law when you were 12, how the hell can you expect to talk your way out of a ticket when you're 40?
Dealing with the cops builds character and it also teaches you to respect those who need to be respected when it comes time. I know my first time dealing with a cop was also the first time that I learned the word "sir" can start and conclude every sentence that you speak.
Simple. Right?
You'd think so.
I've been absent for some time now thanks to a "buy two, get one free" deal at Toys R Us that led to the purchases of SSX3, Tony Hawk's Underground, and Amped 2. With all of these extreme sports games, I'm feeling rather EXTREME at the moment. I'll review them as soon as I manage to devote enough time to just one of them.
Also, everyone be sure to pick up the Upright Citizens Brigade DVD which hits shelves today. It's the entire first season and if it sells well, they're going to release season two.
On a side note... I've been noticing over the past few months that the presence of "Tool" shirts has grown exponentially. What's the deal?
Sure, Maynard James Keenan and company are a nifty little band and all, but the irony of the shirts is the "truth in advertising", as my friend Brian put it so eloquently.
Sorry. I'm just so sick of the douchebag no-personality stereotypical frat boy whose favorite movie is "Old School," and he just LOVES that hot new joint by 50 Cent.
Who raised these kids? Where did they grow up?
There are two things that need to happen for a boy to grow into a true man:
1. He needs to get his ass kicked good and hard at some point in his early life.
Someone needs to put him in his place and harden him somehow, otherwise he'll grow up to be a pussy and run from a fight. Men that always avoid conflict will never have any confidence or get laid. Plus, if you can't fight, how will you ever become a professional hockey player?
Parents should go out of their way to put their kids in a position where they will get beat up. My parents put me in Catholic school, that did the trick!
2. He needs to break a law and get busted.
And we're just talking small stuff here... trespassing, illegal fireworks, beastiality, credit card fraud, whatever. As long as you're talking in a desperate attempt to save your ass, you've already learned a life lesson. If you never stumbled your way through a horrible explanation as to why you were naked in a park at 3 a.m. to Johnny Law when you were 12, how the hell can you expect to talk your way out of a ticket when you're 40?
Dealing with the cops builds character and it also teaches you to respect those who need to be respected when it comes time. I know my first time dealing with a cop was also the first time that I learned the word "sir" can start and conclude every sentence that you speak.
Simple. Right?
You'd think so.
|
2003 - 2005 Reverend Hughes |
