The World is a Toolbox

I've been absent for some time now thanks to a "buy two, get one free" deal at Toys R Us that led to the purchases of SSX3, Tony Hawk's Underground, and Amped 2. With all of these extreme sports games, I'm feeling rather EXTREME at the moment. I'll review them as soon as I manage to devote enough time to just one of them.

Also, everyone be sure to pick up the Upright Citizens Brigade DVD which hits shelves today. It's the entire first season and if it sells well, they're going to release season two.

tuh-tuh-tool, toolOn a side note... I've been noticing over the past few months that the presence of "Tool" shirts has grown exponentially. What's the deal?

Sure, Maynard James Keenan and company are a nifty little band and all, but the irony of the shirts is the "truth in advertising", as my friend Brian put it so eloquently.

Sorry. I'm just so sick of the douchebag no-personality stereotypical frat boy whose favorite movie is "Old School," and he just LOVES that hot new joint by 50 Cent.

Who raised these kids? Where did they grow up?

There are two things that need to happen for a boy to grow into a true man:

ass whoopin'1. He needs to get his ass kicked good and hard at some point in his early life.
Someone needs to put him in his place and harden him somehow, otherwise he'll grow up to be a pussy and run from a fight. Men that always avoid conflict will never have any confidence or get laid. Plus, if you can't fight, how will you ever become a professional hockey player?

Parents should go out of their way to put their kids in a position where they will get beat up. My parents put me in Catholic school, that did the trick!

fuzz!2. He needs to break a law and get busted.
And we're just talking small stuff here... trespassing, illegal fireworks, beastiality, credit card fraud, whatever. As long as you're talking in a desperate attempt to save your ass, you've already learned a life lesson. If you never stumbled your way through a horrible explanation as to why you were naked in a park at 3 a.m. to Johnny Law when you were 12, how the hell can you expect to talk your way out of a ticket when you're 40?

Dealing with the cops builds character and it also teaches you to respect those who need to be respected when it comes time. I know my first time dealing with a cop was also the first time that I learned the word "sir" can start and conclude every sentence that you speak.

Simple. Right?

You'd think so.

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2003 - 2005
Reverend Hughes