Wonder Showzen will make you a bad person 

I'm gonna let the following lyrics say it all:

White people, havin' fun
Global domination over everyone
White people, smile so bright
Genocide for everyone who isn't white

And before you get all up in arms with me, I'll have you know that this song was on (relatively) basic advertisement-supported cable television at 9:30 p.m. last Friday.

It's called Wonder Showzen, and it's on every week on MTV2. And if you're not watching, there is something wrong with you.

Far more offensive than any episode of South Park, and more brilliant than Adult Swim's relatively disappointing Robot Chicken could ever hope to be, Wonder Showzen (formerly pronounced "Kids Show") is quite possibly the most insane television show to ever make it past big-network censors. Seriously, Viacom is airing this program - the same jerks who are still over-censoring programming because the MTV-produced 2004 Super Bowl halftime show tit-fucked America.

Kids Show leaked onto the Internet a few years ago with a description accompanying it, simply saying it was a pilot episode for a program being produced for MTV. "Yeah right," I said after watching it. "This will never be allowed on television. Ever."

And a few years later, here it is. Wonder Showzen is a mock-children's program starring puppets and little kids, doing things that they definitely should not be doing.

There's a kid reporter who hosts a segment called "Beat Kids" (complete with a logo of flying fists). And he loves to drink blood.

A puppet named Clarence encourages people on the street to tear up and burn a copy of the Bill of Rights.

The letter N drinks booze and injects drugs before she has sex with the letter S.

"Dear Grandma," a little girl writes in one segment. "Your breast implants look great. I only wish you were alive to see them. We could barely close the lid on your coffin."

Unfortunately, most of the folks I've spoke with haven't heard about or tuned in to this magical 30 minutes of weekly programming. So I'm using my personal soap box here to encourage you to watch, because my goal is the same as the creators of Wonder Showzen: to ruin as many lives as possible.

While a lot of people I know haven't watched, conveniently, concerned parents who are looking out for our best interests have managed to stumble across Wonder Showzen and are attempting to take action. Nevermind the fact that the time spent writing letters could instead be used learning how to program the V-chip, which is included in every television set manufactured in the past 10 years.

Mike Litt calls the program "communist, racist, and fundamentally un-American." Mr. Litt's solution is, of course, to do the most non-communist thing he could imagine: get the program canceled so no one can watch it.

And good for him. Really, we don't deserve Wonder Showzen. It causes cancer and will make your child grow up to become a porn star. Do as Mr. Litt says, contact Fox News. Complain and raise a stink. Whatever you do, don't watch it.

But don't worry. I will.

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2003 - 2005
Reverend Hughes