If you're an idiot, don't vote

You know, anything that manages to piss off Sean Penn is cool by me. The brilliant, recently released "America: The Book," from the folks behind the Daily Show, features a great note dedicated to him that I would advise you check out. I don't know if Penn saw it or has opened his mouth regarding it, but I'm sure it pissed him off. What doesn't?

But even more recently, I had the great pleasure of seeing the movie "Team America: World Police." We'll get into that in a second.

Team America creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, better known for South Park, have obviously been making the rounds in support of their outrageous Jerry Bruckheimer-esque political satire starring marionettes, and Matt Stone said something that pissed off Mr. Penn.

"Stay home," Stone said in an interview to undecided voters. "It doesn't matter who you're gonna vote for. If you really don't know who you're gonna vote for, or are uninformed, or haven't really thought about it. Just stay home. If you really don't know or you're just going to vote for George Bush because he's already in office, or you're gonna vote for John Kerry because he's on the cover of Rolling Stone, don't do that. That's lame."

Penn, as a result, wrote in a letter to the Los Angeles Times, which, of course, published it. Penn then invited the South Park creators to take a trip with him to the Sunni Triangle. Because, apparently, that's enough to convince someone that dumb people should vote.

I mean seriously. If you haven't made up your mind by now, don't fucking vote. Please. You're obviously retarded.

In fact, anyone who was swayed by the debates or the Democratic or Republican conventions is a moron. If you have any idea of what you stand for, you couldn't have two candidates with their differences more clearly defined in respect to the issues that are the most important to a majority of voters.

In short, if you haven't figured out where you stand by now, don't bother. Give it another four years, at least.

And you give it a rest, Penn. You're an asshole.

But back to Team America, because it shows a puppet version of Penn meeting a grizzly demise. The film will undoubtedly offend anyone who is sensitive to the issues on any side of the political spectrum, as, in the South Park style, the film takes no prisoners.

Me? I loved it.

Parker and Stone explicitly shared my previously shared hatred of Michael Bay in a brilliant ballad called "Pearl Harbor Sucked and I Miss You." They parodied the plotline of every action movie you've ever seen pefectly. There's not one, but two Star Wars references. There's a montage that features a hilarious song describing the science behind movie montages. What more can you ask for?

In fact, I keep mentioning the songs, because really, the songs steal the show here, much like in Stone and Parker's previous effort, "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut." You'll find yourself humming the tune to "America, Fuck Yeah!" long after you leave the theater.

Equally impressive, though, are the extravagant sets built for the film. A ridiculously detailed Times Square makes a 30 second appearance in the movie. The amount of work that must have gone into it is really quite amazing, as some people who saw the movie asked if the Times Square scene was a model.

But hey, none of it matters. I won't ruin the jokes. All you have to know is this: It's funny, it'll piss a lot of people off, and Sean Penn is ticked. Works for me.