New HDTV + Hurricane = Severe Disappointment

Originally I was going to review the brand spankin' new ESPN NHL 2K5, which features our very own hometown hero Marty St. Louis on the cover and also sells for a budget-friendly $19.99 for PS2 and Xbox, but a little storm that you might not have heard about changed plans a bit... so I'll make it brief.

But yes, I reviewed ESPN NHL (2K4) here last year and, as you could have expected, 2K5 totally rules. They even added the ability to put custom songs to play during certain parts of the game... it's quite satisfying to hear "Another One Bites the Dust" when the opposing team gets a penalty, or "You've Got Another Thing Coming" during a fight.

And yes, a loser like me went online and found an even bigger loser who cut and edited all of the authentic goal songs for every team in the NHL. So now, it's pretty cool to hear Ric Flair scream "WOOO! THAT'S A CAROLINA HURRICANES GOAL! WOOO!" every time the Lightning's Southeastern Division rivals score one in their home arena. Sigh.

But to make things even better, my roommate and good buddy Brian picked up a nice little high-definition widescreen progressive scan TV. And oh yes: it rocks.

My fellow nerds, you have not experienced a true erection until you have let your senses become deluged in the infinitely gratifying display of an anamorphic widescreen presentation of a DVD featuring 480p progressive scan and true Dolby Digital 5.1 sound.

Then try playing Ninja Gaiden in 16x9 widescreen progressive scan.

Oh yes, my friends, it is quite magical. I realize that some of you may not be able to appreciate all of this jargon, so a picture will have to poorly suffice for those of you who more than likely don't give a shit.


But then, in the midst of our excitement with Brian's new toy in the living room, a storm had to come along and ruin our fun and knock out the power. That's right: nothing but three sweaty guys sitting around with no air conditioning, staring at this giant TV that we had barely taken out of the box. Can't leave the house, can't cook a damn piece of food, you're left to find your own source of fun.

And so what do you do to pass the time during a storm? Well...

...So after setting the mood with my roommates with plenty of candles carefully placed about in a dark, powerless room, we were ready for some hot lovin'. I even had my MP3 player hooked up to some non-powered speakers so we could rock out to some Huey Lewis and the News - because nothing says gay sex with your roommates during a storm like "Sports."

But just when things were about to get good, alas, the power returned and the moment was over. Our attention returned to the pile of technology in our living room that had captured our hearts, as memories of our forbidden love and what could have been quickly drifted into the subconcious. Oh, cruel fate.

Yeah, storms make ya weird.

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2003 - 2005
Reverend Hughes