My contribution to the Internet

And we're back. Yes, that's right: not school, nor stress, natural disasters or the lack of power can keep me away from being desperately unfunny.

And it is here in my humble virtual home where I post my ramblings with the goal of being somewhat entertaining. I know a good portion of you folks who read about whatever I have to say don't even know me, which I found to be quite strange at first. Over time, though, it has proven itself to be quite amusing.

You see, awhile ago I installed software on this site from a cool page called RE_INVIGORATE. It tells all kinds of stats about the visitors who visit my site, like where they're browsing from, what operating system they use, what browser they're using to surf the 'Net, etc.

But the real gem of it all is a feature that shows you how people get to your site... like if someone else links to your site from theirs, and it's bringing in traffic, you can find out where the visitors are coming from. Or, even better, if someone searches for you on Google, you can find out what in holy hell they were searching for that made them come across your site.

Because I found it so entertaining, I passed this cool software along to my brother awhile ago and he did a hilarious story about the Google searches that led people to his site.

Honestly, if everything you knew about a Web site was based on the search engine inquiries that led people to it, it would give you a much different picture of the site opposed to what it actually is.

Or maybe not. Maybe this is what my site really is about. I'll let you be the judge... Check out the searches that led here:

leo laporte fucking liar
megadeth rules
john kerry fucking george bush in the ass screen saver
VINNY LECAVALIER CARS
LowBrow Puck Tits
Whoopi Goldberg pubic hair
Whoopi Goldberg's Headquarters
shirtless tattoo redneck
shirtless blog
sleep shirtless guy
boorish fuck
KARATE CHAMPION BINITIE
why isn't harold and kumar go to white castle showing anywhere
Rush Geddy Lee tattoo republican
jarome iginla with his white mom pictures
alcohol depression hipsters
WHAT IS HOCKEY PLAYER NEIL SMITH STILL DOING TODAY - DOES HE STILL MANAGE HOCKEY?

Now none of those searches bothered me that much. Really. People search for some weird stuff.

But the one that really inspired this entire post was a Google search for the following:

shirtless guys tied up

Go ahead, click it. It'll search it for you.

That's right, listed after a few choice homosexual porn Web sites, you get good old ME coming in at number seven on your top ten list!

ME!

YOUR ONE-STOP SOURCE FOR HOMOSEXUAL PORNOGRAPHY, PARTICULARLY BONDAGE!

So, to all of you out there in Internet land who read this... whether you found me searching for gay porn or you were hoping to download a screensaver of John Kerry fucking George W. Bush in the ass, I sincerely hope you are satisfied. I try my hardest.