3.12.2004
TechTV, hot nerd girls and bukkake
Well, I'm home on spring break, and for me that means one thing and one thing only: TechTV.
That's right, in between my spouts of sleeping and playing Ninja Gaiden and MGS: Twin Snakes, my television can be found permanently tuned in to the holy grail of nerd-related television. It's probably a damn good thing that I don't get TechTV back up in Gainesville, because, as my trips home prove, I can never get enough technology-related entertainment.
My love affair with TechTV began long ago when our basic cable provider began offering a station known as ZDTV (then owned by ZDNet). Much like the early days of SciFi or Comedy Central, there was a rotation of four or five shows that played at least three times a day, and damn it all to hell if I didn't watch them at least twice before the day was up. I even watched the unwatchable shows, like "Silicon Spin," hosted by John C. Dvorak. I don't know if he's the same guy who invented the DVORAK keyboard, but I know his Crossfire-style show about the tech industry was the painful half hour between Fresh Gear and GameSpot TV.
ZDTV lost too much money on the station and sold it, with the name changing to TechTV, and the station overhauled and revamped. In reality, not much has changed. It's still a horrible channel with a talent pool of about 10 people total who get whored out to every other show on the station. They all must work their asses off, since you see them on that station 24 hours a day in various forms, particuarly Kevin Rose, Morgan Webb, Chris Leary, and the asian guy with a mole beneath his nose who's an expert on digital cameras. His name escapes me, but his face will never.
Kevin Rose, by the way, hosts a cool Internet hacking show over at thebroken.org which is quite entertaining and definitely worth your time.
But the beauty of TechTV is how it can make you attracted to girls you ordinarily wouldn't take a second glance at. With a talent pool so small, you're forced to watch the same women multiple times a day talking to you about videogames, computers, and tech news. Something about a tech-savvy girl gets nerds everywhere popping wood, so much so that Playboy is going to feature one of the girls on their Web site in a few months. Whoa.
Seriously, never underestimate nerds when it comes to these things. Cat Schwartz (who helps out on Call For Help, along with doing a bunch of other stuff) posted some pictures on her blog of herself where she had cropped out her own boobs. Nerds, understanding the intricacies of Adobe Photoshop, knew that the original, full pictures were saved in thumbnail format via Photoshop. Not minutes after Cat posted the pictures of herself, she had inadvertantly plastered her boobs all over the Internet.
I met the girl who is apparently the nerds' TechTV favorite at E3 a few years ago: Morgan Webb. Not surprisingly, she really wasn't all that much to look at (although I think Adam Sessler drags her down), but it doesn't matter, because as a nerd, you could not refuse sex from a remotely-attractive girl who talks about videogames for a full half hour five nights a week. It's impossible. And so, like everyone, I am a slave to Morgan Webb (along with Sarah Lane, Cat Schwartz, and the rest of the gang)
But the real gem of TechTV is its late night talk show "Unscrewed," hosted by Martin Sargent. Martin got away from Leo and Patrick over at the Screen Savers to host a show that will make the inner-geek in you tingle with joy. How can you not be happy when you see an interview with Drew Curtis from Fark.com or the guys who created Red vs. Blue, especially when it's airing on national TV? Fantastic. And I always have to give props to a show that reguarly says nerd gross-out jargon like "menzies," "bukkake," or "goatse" without being censored or acting like what they just said was a big deal.
If you don't get TechTV, their Web site is a valuable resource anyhow, since everything they tell you how to do on the air is explained in depth online.
Well, I'm home on spring break, and for me that means one thing and one thing only: TechTV.
That's right, in between my spouts of sleeping and playing Ninja Gaiden and MGS: Twin Snakes, my television can be found permanently tuned in to the holy grail of nerd-related television. It's probably a damn good thing that I don't get TechTV back up in Gainesville, because, as my trips home prove, I can never get enough technology-related entertainment.
My love affair with TechTV began long ago when our basic cable provider began offering a station known as ZDTV (then owned by ZDNet). Much like the early days of SciFi or Comedy Central, there was a rotation of four or five shows that played at least three times a day, and damn it all to hell if I didn't watch them at least twice before the day was up. I even watched the unwatchable shows, like "Silicon Spin," hosted by John C. Dvorak. I don't know if he's the same guy who invented the DVORAK keyboard, but I know his Crossfire-style show about the tech industry was the painful half hour between Fresh Gear and GameSpot TV.
ZDTV lost too much money on the station and sold it, with the name changing to TechTV, and the station overhauled and revamped. In reality, not much has changed. It's still a horrible channel with a talent pool of about 10 people total who get whored out to every other show on the station. They all must work their asses off, since you see them on that station 24 hours a day in various forms, particuarly Kevin Rose, Morgan Webb, Chris Leary, and the asian guy with a mole beneath his nose who's an expert on digital cameras. His name escapes me, but his face will never.
Kevin Rose, by the way, hosts a cool Internet hacking show over at thebroken.org which is quite entertaining and definitely worth your time.
But the beauty of TechTV is how it can make you attracted to girls you ordinarily wouldn't take a second glance at. With a talent pool so small, you're forced to watch the same women multiple times a day talking to you about videogames, computers, and tech news. Something about a tech-savvy girl gets nerds everywhere popping wood, so much so that Playboy is going to feature one of the girls on their Web site in a few months. Whoa.
Seriously, never underestimate nerds when it comes to these things. Cat Schwartz (who helps out on Call For Help, along with doing a bunch of other stuff) posted some pictures on her blog of herself where she had cropped out her own boobs. Nerds, understanding the intricacies of Adobe Photoshop, knew that the original, full pictures were saved in thumbnail format via Photoshop. Not minutes after Cat posted the pictures of herself, she had inadvertantly plastered her boobs all over the Internet.
I met the girl who is apparently the nerds' TechTV favorite at E3 a few years ago: Morgan Webb. Not surprisingly, she really wasn't all that much to look at (although I think Adam Sessler drags her down), but it doesn't matter, because as a nerd, you could not refuse sex from a remotely-attractive girl who talks about videogames for a full half hour five nights a week. It's impossible. And so, like everyone, I am a slave to Morgan Webb (along with Sarah Lane, Cat Schwartz, and the rest of the gang)
But the real gem of TechTV is its late night talk show "Unscrewed," hosted by Martin Sargent. Martin got away from Leo and Patrick over at the Screen Savers to host a show that will make the inner-geek in you tingle with joy. How can you not be happy when you see an interview with Drew Curtis from Fark.com or the guys who created Red vs. Blue, especially when it's airing on national TV? Fantastic. And I always have to give props to a show that reguarly says nerd gross-out jargon like "menzies," "bukkake," or "goatse" without being censored or acting like what they just said was a big deal.
If you don't get TechTV, their Web site is a valuable resource anyhow, since everything they tell you how to do on the air is explained in depth online.
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2003 - 2005 Reverend Hughes |
