Super Fantastic Low-Gravity Fighting Extravaganza!

Alright, we did this one about three years ago, but it's time for a repeat. For those of you not filled in on the brawl to end all brawls, here's how it works out:

Every red-blooded American has, at some point in their life, been in an argument as to who would win in a fight. If you're like me, you get into those sorts of debates all the damn time.

Most recently I was in a debate as to whether The Big Show (Paul Wight) or Kurt Angle would win in a real-life brawl. The debate got so out of hand that a good portion of my family, along with the relatives of others, ended up giving their opinion on the topic.

By the way, Wight would destroy Angle.

So yeah, anyhow, nothing spurs a good old fashioned bitch-fest like a debate on ass-kicking, hence this contest. To take away the advantage of weight or strength in order to create a level playing field and broaden the selection of combatants, our brawl takes in a low-gravity environment.

If you don't have a sense of humor, don't bother reading any farther. This could get nasty.

Remember: Low-gravity makes a huge difference. Paul Wight would win against Kurt Angle on Earth because of his size, but when his size is taken out of the equation, it becomes a true test of one's murderous skills.

So, our selection of competitors are placed on the moon in a tournament-style fight to the death. Combatants' specific advantages (if any) are listed - there are no more, no less.

It's simple - vote by leaving a message below this post. You can only pick one winner. Envision the fight however you see fit and please feel free to give your reasons as to why you picked your winner.

The combatants for this round are:

1. Joe Pesci from Casino (armed with a ball-point pen).

2. Vince Neil circa 1984 Shout at the Devil tour (armed with a 1972 Ford Pantera and an endless supply of alcohol)

3. O.J. Simpson circa Naked Gun (armed with 9-iron golf club and a tiny leather glove)

4. Tom Hanks from Philadelphia

5. Macho Man Randy Savage from Wrestlemania 8 (armed with a boombox, a copy of his new CD, and an unlimited supply of batteries)

Place your bets.

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2003 - 2005
Reverend Hughes