Reverend Jesse Jackson: God's Anus

I got to thinking the other day... God said he created us in his likeness.

So let's say God has a human form. Piecing him together is a bit difficult. The Bible is the word of God, and you could say that the Pope (or the leader of whatever Christian denomination you happen to belong to) is God's mouthpiece, of sorts. We've even got Jesus' body and blood at mass. Fair enough.

But if we're going to accept this theory, it means that we must account for the ugly parts of us too, because even our unspeakables are based in God's likeness in some way.

Which brings me to my next point: if God's anus were to be represented by anything, it would be the Reverend Jesse Jackson.

Jesse's really a perfect fit. Someone's anus isn't very flattering or likeable, no matter who it is. But this is God we're talking about, so no matter what aspect of God it is we're speaking of, people are still going to look up to it, even if it's his bunghole.

No one really enjoys Jesse Jackson, but he's still a recognized figure who a group of people look up to.

Fittingly, whenever shit goes down, Jesse makes an appearance, and he makes his presence well known. A lot of Democrats attending Gray Davis's concession speech were complaining "This stinks!" following the news of Arnold's victory. But of course, Jesse Jackson was there!

Jesse's illegitemate child from an affair a few years ago also proves that he truly is an asshole, in both the literal and figurative sense of the word.

But in the end, we are all still created in God's likeness, even our old friend Jesse. Take comfort in the likelihood that not even all of God's anatomy is pleasant, and remember:

There's a little bit of God's anus in all of us.